


Broken Ones

by MightyLeafy



Series: Universe-131366 [1]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Marvel Cinematic Universe Fusion, Complete, Drama, Family Secrets, Fights, Fist Fights, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Marvel - Freeform, OC, Original Character(s), Secrets, Slow Burn, Superheroes, Teenagers, friendship drama, marvel drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 03:16:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyLeafy/pseuds/MightyLeafy
Summary: She was normal, or so she thought. Living with the Avengers is all she has known and never knowing if they comeback is her game. But all this changed the day that I new boy was brought home. He was shy but there was something off about him. Not like the rest, he stayed alone and for 2 years never spoke to anyone really. But one day change both of their life for the worse.(Current WIP - being rewritten)





	1. Prolouge

Another average day in Stark Tower. I’m playing tag with my adopted sister, Maria when I hear the door open.

“Dad!” I hadn’t seen him in a while. My adoptive father, Tony Stark, was finally back at the Tower. But it’s obvious something was wrong- he looks unhappy. In all honesty, he looks terrified. “Dad? What’s wrong?” I get the feeling I’ll wish I never asked.

“Sweetheart, remember Uncle Peter and how I told you he was going away for a while?” My mind is spinning. Why is he telling me this now? “Manya…” I could barely hear him say my name. He dropped suddenly, landing on his knees and starting to cry. “Peter was shot and killed, right in front of me.” My heart dropped. Peter, only thirty years old, had been gunned down in front of Dad- who had also just lost one of his closest friends in the Battle of Wakanda. My red and black hair falls into my face as I stare at the ground, eyes burning with tears.

Why? I thought. My world was fine until Wakanda, and I hate that.

Maria came running into the room, looking worried. She takes a moment to take in the scene- me, trying to wrap my eight-year-old mind around my uncle’s death while holding on to my father, who mourns Peter as well.

“Dad?” Maria proffers the phone to him. “There’s someone who wants to talk to you… it’s important.” Dad takes a deep breath, regaining his composure.

“Hello?” His voice still shakes slightly. “Yeah, I’ll be there as soon as possible.” He hangs up, with the “you’re coming with me and you better not complain” look. “We’re heading to Wakanda. Important mission and you’re coming with me.” Maria and I both nod.

\---

The jets lands and T’Challa greet us. I walk by Dad, holding his hand tightly.

“Is this about him?” Dad asks, and T’Challa chuckles slightly.

“As it turns out, he’s decided to wake up earlier than expected. I bet he would have stayed under longer, yet his healing time was extraordinary.” T’Challa’s face darkens and his voice lowers. “Not that we can tell the extent of the damage done, but it appears severe.”

“I have full faith he’ll recover,” Dad says softly, and T’Challa snorts derisively.

My mind wanders back to the war when I was kept inside. There had been a boy, in a small chamber, almost like he was sleeping. My Wolf, Bucky, had been watching over him.  
“My Wolf, shouldn’t you be fighting?” I had asked, scared that if he didn’t help, something bad would happen.

“No, Manya.” My Wolf pointed to the boy in the chamber. “I must watch over him.” I had slowly wandered over to the chamber and placed my small palm against it. It was surprisingly cold. There was a beep from a tablet with wires that ran to the chamber, and I watched as the boy shifted slightly, like he’d felt my presence.

“Why is he in there?” I asked, turning to my Wolf.

“Because it’s not time to let him out yet.”

Snapping back to reality, I tug on Dad’s sleeve as we follow T’Challa.

“We’re here for the boy in the glass, aren’t we?” I ask, and Dad nods as T’Challa leads us into a lab, the lab where I saw him. This time, he’s awake, sitting on a table as people disconnect tubes from him, and Shuri stands in front of him, talking to him. She’s explaining something about nausea and dizziness, before checking something on a tablet.

It’s odd. Last week he was still, almost corpse-like and this week he’s alive as can be. His blonde hair is a mess- a train wreck. He looks over at us, and it’s as if he’s studying exactly who and what we are. His blue eyes are dull, almost cloudy, showing obvious pain, but his face perfectly still and painless. Dad stops in front of him, leaving me back by T’Challa.

“Hello, Phoenix. My name is Tony Stark, and these are my daughters. Maria, the taller of the two, is my biological daughter, and sixteen. Manya is my adopted daughter, and she is eight.” I give the boy, Phoenix, a small wave. He drops off the table, walking over to Maria and I. As he does, some odd instinct causes me to examine every small detail about him. His hair falls just to the top of his ears, and he has odd, symmetrical scars all over, from God knows what. He looks younger now he's not in the tank… maybe 11? What had he gone through? It was something I would probably never know.

“Dad, are we taking him home?” I ask. Something about this Phoenix scares me. He has a certain look to him that reminds me of… something.

“Yes, Manya. He will be living in the tower with us. I expect you'll be nice to him. If you do, I trust you will become very good friends.” Dad smiles. He heads off momentarily to grab something or other for Phoenix.

“Hi. My name is Manya. Nice to meet you.” I say quietly while holding my hand out. He gave me an uneasy look before shaking my small hand. I smile at him as Dad comes back with a backpack.

“You’ll be back here soon for a check-up, Phoenix,” Dad says. “Ready to go, kids?” He says as he ruffles my hair. I giggle. I hold Dad’s hand tight as we head back to the jet, and sit near him on the left side of the jet near him. Phoenix distances himself, fiddling with the things in the backpack Dad got from T’Challa.

When we get home, Dad asks if I can take Phoenix up to his room.

“JARVIS, where’s Phoenix’s room?” I ask.

“The room below yours,” the AI informs me, and I grab Phoenix’s hand. He flinches. “Don’t worry. Dad will take good care of you.” I leave him to let him unpack. A small while later, he finally opens the door. “Hi! Ready to meet the others?” With a small nod, he lets me lead him into the main living room.

“Everyone, this is Phoenix. He’ll be staying with us. I hope we can train him properly, and he will become an important member of the team.” Dad says. Everyone seems excited to meet him, so Maria and I simply sit in the corner. Eventually, Phoenix wanders over, sitting somewhat near us. I decided to try and make conversation.

“So… how old are you?”

“Eleven, I’m pretty sure.” He says. For hours, Maria and I sit and talk to him, telling him stories about the members of the team and all their embarrassing moments.

I could tell we were going to be close friends.


	2. Training Day

“Bet!” Phoenix shouts, shattering a plate on the table. He’s lived with us for almost five years and finally warmed up to us.

“Isn’t that the sixth plate this week?” Dad shouts from the kitchen, and Phoenix and I escape into the living room, flopping onto the couch and laughing. His sixteenth birthday is in less than a month, and we’re both hyped.

“Phoenix, training time.” My Wolf says. My Wolf is generally chill, but something seems to make him nervous about training with Phoenix.

“Wolf, can I come to watch today?” I ask. My Wolf looks almost uneasy. “I’m thirteen. I need to learn sometime,” I whine. Wolf gives a nod, and I follow them down to the training room. While walking down I found myself humming a song that I always loved growing up, We’ll Meet Again. I know it seems dumb, but I think that it’s one of the reasons I connect with Steve and My Wolf so much, the song being from their time. The training room is huge- the floor covered in mats and the wall with mirrors. My Wolf leads Phoenix over to the combat station, rifling through a box before throwing Phoenix a pair of leather cuffs.

“Why…?” Phoenix starts to question, but My Wolf throws a nod towards me, and Phoenix nods. He wraps them around his wrists as My Wolf turns to me.

“There are seats over there,” My Wolf says. I smile politely but shake my head. I move off to the side and watch as they begin fighting. Punch after punch and dodge after dodge- every time a blow lands I flinch. My Wolf coaches Phoenix, but I can see aggression building up in Phoenix’s eyes. A final blow from Phoenix sends My Wolf flying into one of the mirrors. The loud shatter is what allows me to register what happens. Phoenix had finally defeated My Wolf in combat, but at what cost?

“What have you done? I mean… look at him!” I point to My Wolf, struggling to stand up. He has a small cut on his arm, and Phoenix runs to grab a first-aid kit. I help My Wolf stand, and as he does, he glares at Phoenix.

“That will never, ever, happen again. And I will make sure of it.” His voice is cold, harsh, and unlike anything, I’ve ever heard.

“S-sorry, S-sir,” Phoenix stutters, and it’s like some sort of bond snaps. I think I might’ve missed the entire exchange if I’d blinked.

“I think we should hold off training for a while.” My Wolf mutters as Phoenix and I help My Wolf upstairs and set him on the couch by the window.

“Hey, JARVIS? Can you call Stephen, please?” As I talk, I glance over at Phoenix, who still looks scared. “What’s wrong? What happened down there?”

“You called?” Stephen asks from behind me.

“Umm… ya. Can you take a look at My Wolf? He did some intense training with Phoenix. He’s ok, though.” I explained the situation a little further than left Stephen to his job. I walked over to the window, thinking about what had happened.

“He has small cuts and a few shards of mirror lodged in his arm and back, only minor stitches were required. Oh and Manya, Steve wants to talk to you. He’s in the training room, cleaning up.” I gave Stephen a small nod and headed down the stairs. I continued to hum We’ll Meet Again to clear my head and the toxic thoughts.

Steve heard me enter the room and turned with an obviously fake smile on his face. He pulled up two chairs and told me to sit down. He had a stern look on his face and I knew something up. “What you saw earlier between Phoenix and Bucky wasn’t normal. So I’m going to do something your Dad wouldn’t like, I’m going to train you for a bit.”

My mouth was hanging agape. Steve said he’d train me!? But why now, what was so bad about the training incident that caused him to do this? I nodded my head and stood, moving my chair back to the side. Steve motioned for me to join him in the center of the mat. Taking my stance, I barely had a moment to think before a fist flew towards my face. “Whoa…” I said as I found myself on the other side of him. I hadn’t realized the extent of my teleportation powers until now. While I still had the upper hand I kicked him in the lower back before running back around to get another hit in. Though it was blocked, I also managed to miss the lower kick he gave. Landing on my back I got up, “I can do this all day.” I let out a little giggle followed by a smirk. He gives a simple punch to my gut sending me flying a few feet.

I let out a small whimper as I hit the ground. “Rule number one. Less talk, more fight. Now, are you alright? I know not many feel too great after a hit like that.” He offered a kind hand and I got up.

“Nah. You gotta remember I have fighters blood, or at least that's what dad always says. I’ll be fine, just help me up to the stairs.” I complain. There is one thing I always will wonder. What does Dad mean by Fighter’s Blood?

We finally make it back upstairs when Steve leaves me to go check on My Wolf. I’m left alone to my thoughts when I realize it’s past dinner time and Phoenix isn’t in his usual evening spot. He normally hangs out underneath the table or in some remote corner until Wanda coaxes him out. As I'm lost in thought as I think of what to tell Dad if he asks where I was at dinner. I guess I’ll just say I was helping Steve clean and we got lost in conversation. By the time I get to the 5th floor of our area, Phoenix comes back into my mind. Deciding last minute, I make my way over to his room.

“Hey, Phoenix? Can we talk” I say while giving a small knock on his door. His door opens only slightly allowing me to see the left side of his face. “I don’t want to talk about what happened. Tony already did that,” he mumbled while proceeding to close the door.

“Come on Phoenix. I don’t want to talk about that. Can we just talk about us, about our lives, our history together?” I asked knowing he could still hear me, “Please”. I heard him sigh before the sound of things moving could be heard. A few moments later he opened the door and to my surprise, allowed me to walk in. I never felt the connection I did with him at that moment. I knew he trusted me but I didn’t think it was enough to let me into his room, no one was allowed in.


	3. Schizo Episode

Just after I left his room, a sudden way of confusion flew over me. I lean towards the wall trying to regain my balance when I slip and hit the floor. I blacked out, I couldn't see anything but I could only hear a voice calling my name.

“Manya, Manya!” it seemed... familiar. I knew I heard this voice before I can never figure out where, my dreams. I always had this voice come to me whenever I needed anything and now it's here again, but why?

“Let me warn you, dear child, stay away from that boy. The only thing to come from him is pain and suffering and you know this. I have watched him, I have... observed him. There's something about this boy, this experiment, that is not right and you should be fearful.” his voice was so dark and cold, it sent shivers down my spine. I felt someone's hands resting on my arm shaking me.

“Manya?! Are you okay? Please! Respond I need to know if you're okay! I'm going to go get Stephen.” I felt the warm leave me as I sat there in the darkness. I was fearful of what is to come but there was nothing to do but sit and wait till something happens. It felt like hours had passed before I felt any contact. This time it's was a ruffer, more calloused hand on my bare shoulder shaking me. I knew it was Stephen. I was scared that he wouldn't be able to help me, and I'd be stuck here, in this dark, dark world forever. I heard the voices of everyone but could not make out what they were saying. But the voice came back.

“You are scared, dear, I can tell. You are shaking, but it's not a shiver, why? Why are you so scared? I'm not going to hurt you. “ the voice trailed off. Why was this person, this thing targeting me? Why is it asking now? What caused it to talk now? I thought. I was finally snapped back to reality. I'm laying on one of the tables in dads lab. I look around and no one is here. Weird. I thought I just heard them talking a few minutes ago? I look at the clock, 2:30 am. Great, there goes my sleeping schedule.

Sitting up, I look around to find Dad sleeping in a chair not too far from the table. Getting off the table I apparently kicked a piece of something, waking Dad. “Manya, thank heaven you ok. Honestly, we were all getting worried. It’s been two days and we didn’t see any signs of you waking up. Plus that whole time you were saying Phoenix’s name over and over. At one point he came in and you started, shivering.” he whispers. Wait, I’ve been out for two days? It’s only felt like an hour at the most. And if Phoenix was here and I was shaking that explains the last words he said. I hugged him tightly, trying to sooth his worriedness.

“Come on Dad. You know you worry too much at times. It’s not all that healthy.” I could feel his heart rate down slightly when I spoke in my soothing, joking tone. I knew that he would do this after Peter and Harley. Both of them were like his own but he let them both down in some way. Harley, he had to leave and was never able to find him again, like everything of his existence was erased. Peter, on the other hand, was the one that he watched get shot and killed right in front of him. When I was younger, I would comfort him and he would always say that if Peter died, “It would be on him.”, and that is what has taken a toll. Even 5 years after he still thinks about it.

\---

I was happy to have people around me and finally know who was speaking to me when the weird wave of nausea hit me again. I felt my head go limp on the metal table they placed me back on, and the darkness yet again enveloped me. This time there was a weird ringing noise that I had only heard in Wakanda that awful day. “I thought I told you to stay away from him. Why didn’t you listen?” His eery voice filled my head as I floated around in the void. I was shaking my head, trying to get it to stop. His tormenting voice caused me to scream out, in what sounded like pain.

“You can’t get me to stop. I told you that that boy, that experiment, was no good. He will hurt you because you’re not careful. Stop lying to yourself, or the experiment will hurt others as well” his voice, once again, left my head throbbing. I feel like I’m just floating around but can’t move. Like all of my body is restricted yet free. My screams don’t stop though as I am shown blurred images of my past, and even something I don’t know. I see things like Phoenix back in the chamber and my hand touching it. Or I see things like Peter’s blood-covered body lying lifeless on the sidewalk. But the last one was the hardest to understand and explain. I was standing looking at a man in a glass prison. He was wearing a green and black outfit and had black hair. He was shouting vulgar things at this woman who I had never seen. But before anything else could be seen, it all dissolved.

I shoot straight up, back on the metal table causing Stephen to jump a little. I look around the room and most of the group is here. I’m terrified to the point that I don’t notice I’m shaking with tears staining my cheeks. I happen to notice Phoenix isn’t here though. I turn to Stephen, “Please make this stop the voice is scaring me and I want it to stop! It just won't go away…” I shout mumbling the last part. “Manya, I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do. I’ve never seen anything like this.” Stephen explained. I couldn’t stand hearing this. I push my way through the group of people and make my way straight up to my room.


	4. 16th Breaking Point

About a month had passed by and it was finally Phoenix’s birthday. I hadn’t seen him much since the incidents, both his and mine. But the other day I heard Stephen and Dad talking. “He’s getting worse, Stephen. I don’t need to be a doctor to see it.” I could hear the fear in his voice. “He almost got ahold of his file.” Stephen had a look of disbelief on his face as Dad held out a file folder. Without hesitation he grabbed it and flicked through the papers. “We have to tell him!” Stephen exclaimed. Dad had the same look on his face as he did the day he told me about Peter. He was tired, I could tell, but sad at the same time. “We can’t. He can’t know or else bad things can happen. He could snap early or when he does snap the effects would be gruesome. His headaches are getting worse everyday, Stephen, and I don’t need to be a doctor to know that they are connected. The only thing we can do about him is prepare.”

“Manya, you good, girl?” Maria asked while tapping me on the shoulder. I blinked a few times before looking at the clock. Crap, the party started a half hour ago. Let’s hope no one notices. I thought to myself while finding appropriate shoes to wear. I push at least 5 pairs of shoes out of the way before finding my favorite low heeled boots that matched my black party dress. Maria and I hold some small talk as we walk to the party. I still can’t figure out why she still hangs out with me so often. She’s 21 and could be doing way better things. But I guess she gets lonely because every weekend she comes right back home. I don't mind it one bit though, she distracts me from thinking of my parents and what happened.

I had realized that all of my friends are older than me, by at least ten years. I mean, I don’t go to school and one closest to my age is Phoenix and we haven’t seen each other for almost a month. I find Thor standing by the window, seemingly lost in thought.

“Hey Thor. Are you enjoying the party?” He turned to look down upon me with a sad smile. My question must have fazed him slightly because he give me a gesture to sit and he soon follows. “You remind me so much of him.” He whispered.

“Of who, if you don’t mind me asking?” I ask. “ My brother. I lost him a few years ago. He’s like you, adopted that is, but we took him in. Mother and I loved him like he was our own blood, but father planned to use him. I loved him more than anything, and then he broke. My brother went insane and tried to rule over earth. Then he was sent to jail on Asgard. He was stupid, I will say that, but he is still my brother. In the end he redeemed himself by sacrificing himself to save me during the war.” Thor gave me a thoughtful smile. “He would have loved to be here tonight. Parties were always his thing. Everytime I look at you I see him in your eyes.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Phoenix enter the room near the staircase. “Please excuse me Mr. Thor. I need to speak with Phoenix.” I say slowly getting up to make my way across the room to him. He had a strange look to him. Pain seemed to be in his eyes when he looked at me. We made eye contact only for a moment or two before he broke it to look at my dad. “Mr. Stark, something doesn’t feel right.” Phoenix grabs his head in excruciating pain before shouting at the whole party, “Run!”.

Phoenix stopped for a moment to straighten up before drawing his gun. Without any hesitation he pointed it strait at Bruce before pulling the trigger, sending a bullet into the back of his skull. Bruce fell to the ground, dead. Panic ensued, people were running and screaming at what had just happened. Dad reached over to the wall slamming on the interface there while saying something along the lines of “point break protocol”. The room went dark and I knew we would go into lock down. My mind was spinning and even before I could process what had happened my hand could be found covering my mouth, and tears stain my cheeks. Phoenix turned to me with an emotionless face, but a glare that burned into my soul. When I looked back into his blue eyes, they seemed to have dulled. No longer full of life. He was a man on a mission and nothing would stop him.

Clint wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me towards the door. I stop him and scream out at Phoenix, “Why, Phoenix! Look what you've done, what you're doing!” I try to confront him when I am again pulled back by Clint. I searched the dark room for anyone besides Clint and I. Everyone already hid, and Phoenix was on the hunt for us. I was being dragged back by my wrist. I was twisting and trying to pull my hand away. I let out a hiss before I finally gave in to Clint, spraining my wrist.

This is all too real, it has to be a dream! I thought. Dream! That’s it. This is just like the dream I had before Phoenix started avoiding me. Was this the dream all over again? Am I actually asleep? My mind was racing with all the possibilities of what happened. No. In the dream it was I who had shot the gun. And it was Phoenix that was dead on the ground. By the time I stopped thinking about what had happened, I realized that Clint had brought me down to the main floor. I created a copy of myself for him to leave with before I ran back into the tower for answer. I will play his game of Hide and Seek.

The building was powerless as I ran through the many flights of stairs to get up to the party room. I knew I should be hiding but I couldn’t, I needed answers on what had happened. I crept around and checked every floor, but there was no sign of him. Where is he? I don't know what I was looking for the man who just killed one of my friends, but there was something off about it all. I know why I looking for him. Phoenix, my closest friend, was in danger and I had to help him. I finally saw someone I knew, dad. I know he saw me because his already terrified face grew even scareder.

“What are you doing here!? Clint was supposed to take you to the safe house if this ever happened. Why didn’t you stay with him?” he whispers. His voice was full of rage and fear. I could tell he was thinking of Peter. “I....I couldn’t leave you here....” my response was awful but it was all I could give. I heard a door slam open and dad grabbed my sprained wrist pulling me under the counter he was at. The door was none other than him. I hissed at dads action involuntarily. I only looked down at my now swelling wrist as dad peered around the corner to see if it was clear to move. He pushed me toward the door and took me up to my room. “ Why are we here?” I asked with a curious expression on my face. He didn't say anything but shoved me into the closet and told me to stay.

There was a small chair under a box in the corner. “Manya, listen to me. You will be sent down to the garage and I need you to go to the jet and put your hand on the scanner. Then get in a seat and wait till you get to Clint’s to leave the ship. He will take care of you for a few days while everyone here works on stabilizing Phoenix. Ok?” he gave me a small kiss before leaving my room and finding a new hiding spot. It took me a bit but I finally made my way down and got to the jet. I strapped in and prepared for a long flight.

Clint approached the jet as it landed to lead me inside. “It’s good to see you are safe, but that was extremely irresponsible. For the next few days you will work on fixing up the house with me. For now Laura will take you up to your room.” His face was serious but he spoke with a slight joking tone. I just had to listen to him, before I did anything stupid. All I could think about was the safety of those still at the tower. What's happening right now? Is anyone else killed or hurt? Is dad ok? What about Phoenix, is he going to be stable? Will he be safe, what happened to cause this? Why am I going through this. I'm only 13 and I watched one of my father figures get murdered in cold blood by my best friend. My mind is racing but all I can do is wait, and wait for some kind of answer from them.


	5. Flashbacks

That was the least restful night I have had in a while. I lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. I heard Clint on the phone downstairs, “Tony, listen. She’s just a kid. We can’t let her go back. She needs to understand first, but not now”. I slowly got out of bed and slipped on my shoes. Great my phone is back in the jet. I make my way downstairs hoping that Clint won’t notice I left the house. “And where do you think you’re going?”. Damn, he caught me. “I need to grab my phone. I left it in the jet, and dad always told me that I can go anywhere without it” I felt his gaze pierce me but I needed my phone. “Alright. That seems like a good answer.”

I open my phone, hoping for any contact from anyone back home, but nothing was there. A feeling of panic arose. Why haven’t they contacted me yet? Is Phoenix stable? When can I go home? Everything made me think back to when everything started, back to my incident

What were the images and scenes I had? The thought of seeing Phoenix back in his chamber felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach, why would this person show me such a terrible time in my life? Did this person want me to suffer so much? Or with the images of Peter? But the last one was honestly the most confusing. I had never seen this but I had a strange sort of connection to that moment. I knew the man from Thor description at Phoenix’s part, Loki, his brother who had died back during Wakanda. The woman, on the other hand, I had never seen in my life. I had heard that about the time Dad took me in a member of the Avengers was killed on a mission, but I never knew who they were.  
I decided that it would be best if I stayed in the spare room for the day.

~Manya Age 9~

I ran down the halls so that dad wouldn't know it was me who broke the plate. I mean I more of dropped it, but I know Dad has a bad temper. I turned a corner a little too fast and slipped. I sat up but before I could try to get away as if nothing happened, Wanda found me sitting there with a small tear on my cheek.

“Is everything ok Manya? You seem to be hurt?” Wanda asked. Her voice always soothes me. I got up and hugged her waist before letting out a few more tears. Dad always says that I have fighters blood so I have to be strong and get up whenever I fall, but it’s nice to have Wanda comfort me some time. She holds my hand as we walk back to the kitchen. I noticed that Phoenix was in there cleaning up my plate. “Phoenix, did you drop this? Just know that you’re not in trouble if we don’t tell Tony.” He looked up at Wanda and gave a small nod. As he was throwing away the pieces he accidentally cut a bit of his hand, just enough to draw blood.

Wanda let out a small sight and walked over to the bathroom to get some band-aids. “ Hey, you know you didn’t have to do that? I was going to tell her anyway.” He looked up at me only to actually respond. “I couldn’t let you get in trouble. You didn’t mean it.” He then simply washed his hand off and walked off to his room as Wanda came back. “That boy,” she muttered.

~Manya Age 11~

I finally convinced Dad to let me have a party for my birthday this year and I really want to go ice skating. Dad said only if everyone got to skate, and well, I really want to watch everyone fall on their butts. So Dad rented out the Rockefeller Center Rink and all the Avengers came.

Everyone was having so much fun despite the falling and sliding. I never thought I would see the day that My Wolf tried to teach Steve to figure skate. Dad just sat there for most of the time making his stabilizers because he kept falling way too much. I was the only one who could skate, only because whenever I had a free day I would come down here and practice. It always came naturally like ballet.

I felt a pair of eyes watching me the whole time. My wolf seemed so lost in thought but still attentive. He was also pretty good but whenever he saw me he would stop. I brushed it off though as him being in awe of my raw talent. Phoenix, on the other hand, seemed terrified of the ice. “Come on big baby. Just get on the ice!” I shouted at him. Slowly he stepped foot onto the ice before gripping the side like he was going to die. I held my hand out so that he could balance just a bit more before we took off.

As I raced around the rink, he never let go of my hand. Apparently, he couldn’t handle my need for speed. I turned the corner fast and he finally slipped, sliding back to the wall on his butt. I come to a slow halt while trying to hold in my laughter. “What? Too fast?” I slyly chuckle. He stood and dusted off his pants. “As if,” he retorted before slowly beginning to skate. “I’m not as bad as you think.”  
~Present~

I Don’t know why these are such important things but I always think of them whenever I’m scared because they make me think of happier times. Times when I wasn’t scared that my best friend would hurt me. Times when I wasn’t told that I might have to fight for my life soon. Times when we were all happy and no one would have to fight on their own. Times when we were a happy family and were safe.

I always know that there is something that will challenge us but I never thought it would be one of us. I never thought it would be my best friend, my only friend. I never thought I would be this scared. I never thought I would be questioning what my Dad told me. I never thought I would question the truth I was told.


	6. Control

A month had passed and Dad finally let me return home. He said that Phoenix had been stable for long enough to ensure a safe environment for my return. Considering he had been stable for about 3 weeks, Dad and My Wolf let him out of containment. The containment cell at the tower was a level above the training room but still in heavy lockdown. The room held a round glass chamber and had very little furniture. It was originally created for the Hulk but with Bruce being killed it’s now for him, I guess.

When I return I saw Phoenix waiting for me nervously behind everyone. I know Dad can be extremely protective about his family after Peter, he just wants the best for our family. I slowly make my way around hugging everyone tightly. I was so scared that someone else was hurt, or worse Phoenix was hurt.

The part I was dreading the most comes up, the first hello again. I haven't spoken to Phoenix for two months now and I’m scared he won’t want to be friends anymore. I walk up to him but before I can say anything he envelops me in a huge hug, pulling me off the ground.

“Oh my god, Manya. I thought that I had hurt you when Tony said you weren’t here. I thought that I had killed you! When I heard you were coming back I was scared that you would hate me for everything I had put you through. When I ignored you for that month I thought that you would never speak to me again because you would be scared. Tony told me that you watched the whole incident at the party and even came back looking for me. That's when I knew I had to apologise and make everything right between us. I don’t want this friendship to be destroyed over something I can’t control” He grabbed my hand for the first time and led me inside so we could talk more in private.

\---

Some days had passed and our friendship had returned almost back to normal, the whole party being a rough spot. Dad had decided to properly train me and make me a nano suit along with that I can wear at all times. He said that is will be in a small bracelet with an hourglass symbolize that in my time of need I have protection. I made the decision though to bring up the party with Phoenix before the suit was finished. “ Hey, Phoenix? Can we talk about the party for a moment?” he looked over from the corner of his room and gave me a cautious look. “I mean you know that we would never hurt you and you’re safe here.”

His pupils dilated and he started walking towards the bed before grabbing my arm and throwing me to the ground. His voice was low as he repeated, “That’s all a lie. No one will help me anymore”. I scramble to my feet before he chases me down the hall to a bigger room that was empty before sealing the door to take me out. This is my end. I never thought this was how I would go out. Stop it, you’re being stupid. He would never hurt you.

These thoughts replayed in my head when I realized his fist was flying straight at my face. I was so scared that I couldn’t think and just barely dodged the blow. He came at me relentlessly and without a single thought, I grabbed his fist mid-swing and kneed him in the gut. Bad move. He looked up at me and pulled my leg behind him sending me flying to the ground. I got up, running to the door, banging on it hoping that someone would hear me. I had never been more scared of Phoenix in my life yet I couldn’t fight back. I know that he is still in there somewhere and I don’t want to hurt him.

I couldn’t stand the thought of him realizing that I didn’t fight back so I fought, for his sake. No matter the attack he used all my training with Steve kicked in and I only get hit a few times. My strength was no match for his ability. If I wanted to have a fair chance I would have to use my powers. Concentrating, I multiply myself confusing him so that I could figure out a plan. His pattern seems to be a few punches from each side then a roundhouse kick. The only way I could counter that would be a top attack from behind during his kick. I would teleport, which in these few lessons I had got the hang of, behind him and go for the legs.

His leg flew in my direction and it was time to enact my plan. I Teleported to behind him and knocked his legs out from under him. His look darkened as he stood as I saw blood start to drip to the floor. I looked at his wrists to see two stingers ripped through the flesh. I gasp in horror at the sight and the thought that he wants to hurt me that bad. I break down crying, not caring about one of the rules Steve told me, never let your enemy see your weakness. I just couldn't hold this in anymore. I dropped to my knees and let the tears out. Phoenix just stands there and takes in the scene before charging at me and driving the stinger into my diaphragm.

I fell completely to the ground while the world around started to be fuzzy. The figure of Phoenix could still be clearly seen over me with stinger still inside of me. It seemed as though after the stab he came back to realization and froze from shock. I could barely see the panic in his face as he proceeded the scene and pulled it back out. He rushed out of my view, presumably to open the door and find Stephen. As his footsteps disappear, the world fades to black as the poison rushes toward my heart in a race for my life.


	7. The Letter

“Phoenix, I know you can’t hear me, and may never will again. Just know that I will never blame you for what happened. I know you had no control over your actions and feel deep regret about my condition.”

The darkness is all I have felt. The scream echoing through the halls kept me up at night. I want to leave but I have to stay till the end. Nothing has been the same since my parents die in the house fire. All I have known for years on end is pain and torture. The echos are now what I listen to, to fall asleep. The echos telling me it is not I who had messed up or stepped out of line. This concrete bunker has become my home and all that I know. There is a man named James who trains me from day today. And on those nights we can’t sleep, we would go to the training room and lay on the floor looking at the ceiling.

The man looked familiar though. I could never place it in my many years there. He and I grew closer over time and eventually found a sort of romance. He and I would secretly meet after training when no one was around. He trained me in dance, combat and the basic ways of outside life. Dance was always the special time we shared. The only time when we forgot we were being held captive here against our own will. The times when our bodies moved perfectly in unison and with such grace.

The sense of familiarity became more clear as I got to know this man, James more. He was an army soldier from America. He lost everything during the war including an arm, but that never stopped him from excelling in everything he did. I’ve been here for about 12 years now and haven’t seen the hope of leaving yet. Days will pass and nothing changes it is still the same stagnant lifestyle.

I had finally been chosen and my life changed, no kids, no life, no emotion completely, only orders and my secret love. While James and I were training one day an officer asked me to step outside. I heard yelling from both James and the officer but dared not to look- I knew my boundaries. James burst through the door and grabbed my hand. “We must go or they will kill us” fear and anger in his eyes but his face was perfectly still. We had been preparing in case this had happened, so we each went to our rooms and grabbed the bag hidden under our bed. James dropped the latter out his window and we left as silent as possible.

A bright light was shining in our faces when he turned to me and spoke. “Моя любовь, you need to wake from this. You have visitors and something very important waiting for you, a letter”. I finally knew why I recognized him. My name is Manya Lokdottir and that was one of my closest friends, James Buchanan Barnes. The light in my face grew brighter until it all fades to black.

\---

I gasp for air. The sharp pain in my torso returns. What was all of that? Why were My Wolf and I so close and intimate? Or who was I living through? I hear voices shouting my name over and over. The voices overwhelmed me. “Stop! Just leave me be! I just want to go home.” my eyes still shut in pain. The voices stopped but a pair of arms sloppily wrapped themselves around me in a hug. I slowly opened my eyes in fear that it was going to be where I was left. Bleeding in the emergency room as Phoenix went to get help.

I looked over at Dad who was clinging on to me as if he hadn’t seen me in years. I look around at the other faces here, everyone accepts Phoenix. “James?” I ask and everyone slowly looked at him. “How do you know that name? I hate using it.” His voice trailed off but he walked closer. He hasn’t changed since the dream, vision, whatever I just woke from. All my overwhelmed emotions are now flooding out all at once. Happy, sad, afraid. Everything an anything I could feel was happening. Then I remember what James said, that there was a letter from my past.

“Dad? Is there a letter for me?” Everyone seemed to tense up at this but he handed me an envelope and helped me sit up. It was from a small town in Russia. My shaky hands slowly tore open the letter and pulled out a piece of yellowed paper.

“Мой дорогой ребенок,  
Я хотел бы начать с извинения. Я никогда не надеялся причинить тебе столько боли и всех суровых кораблей. Я получил письмо от Джеймса, в котором говорилось, что вы уже некоторое время были в коме и никогда не можете проснуться. Вы ненавидели меня в течение некоторого времени и, вероятно, никогда не хотели меня видеть. Я тот, кто оставил тебя с Тони, и я ежедневно испытываю глубокое сожаление. Я твоя мать, но никогда не могу сказать, кто я из страха вашей безопасности.У меня много врагов в этом мире, и вы не можете удержать это бремя. Смотрите на меня Джеймс и Стив. Они единственные, кто знает мою боль, и Джеймс держит мое сердце до сих пор. Мне жаль слышать, что случилось с Брюсом и что происходит с Фениксом. Кажется, он обрабатывает вещи, очень отличающиеся от Джеймса и меня.

С любовью, твоя мать.”

(Translated)

"My dear child,

I would like to begin with an apology. I never hoped to hurt you so much and all the hardships. I received a letter from James saying that you have been in a coma for a while and you can never wake up. You hated me for some time and probably never wanted to see me. I'm the one who left you with Tony, and I deeply regret every day. I am your mother, but I can never tell who I am for fear of your safety. I have many enemies in this world, and you can not hold this burden. Look at me, James and Steve. They are the only ones who know my pain, and James keeps my heart to this day. I'm sorry to hear what happened to Bruce and what happens to Phoenix. It seems he's handling things very different from James and me.

With love, your mother. "

I just sat there, numb and held the letter as tears rolled down my face. “James… why have you never told me you know her, or even love her?” I watched as his eyes filled with tears, pushing through the crowd to the door. “Dad. what happened to Phoenix?”

"He locked himself back in the isolation chamber a month ago, when we said you might never wake. He hurts himself down there, every day trying to make up for what he did to you. He won’t talk to anyone, and he won’t eat, and..." He looked up slowly to meet my eyes. After Stephen finished unhooking me from the machine and the last check-up, I ran to the chamber.

The sight was anything but pretty. Phoenix lay on the floor, drawing and withdrawing the stingers from his wrists, tearing the skin over and over again. His hair was a complete mess. I couldn't even move, I was too scared for him. Just the thought that he hurts himself to make up for what he did makes me sick. Like a dagger is driving itself into my heart.


	8. Plans and Files

2 years. 2 years since things were happy. All our lives were changed the day I was put in that coma. Everyone seemed to treat me differently, more careful. Like they would hurt me in some way. My wolf and I have been closer in a way, he trains me and tells stories of what he called the “KGB” era. He explained what I saw in my dream, he and my mother were in a very secretive relationship. He would push me as he did her. Make me the strongest I could be. 5 hour each day, no more, no less. I needed to keep my mind off of Phoenix and everything that has happened because of him.

Dad had left his laptop open one day so I thought that I would take a look. I knew of an agent that released all the files on HYDRA but a very secret few remained a mystery. I thought I would look for anything on Phoenix. I knew his biological parents were, my “uncle”, Peter Parker and his partner Wade Wilson.

USER IDENTITY: Tony Stark

...checking...

Identity accepted. Welcome, TONY STARK

Search: Phoenix Parker

No results found.

Search: Phoenix Wilson

No results found.

Search: The Winter Soldier

Approximately 15 folders found. Would you like to search for a more specific term?

Search Files: Peter Parker, Wade Wilson

1 result found: open?

The file is from the recovered HYDRA database. Are you sure you would like to proceed?

“... the assassinations of Wade Wilson and Peter Parker were successful... successful capture of the child... potential witness: Anthony Stark... Scarlet Spider Program confirmed... “

Search: Scarlet Spider Program

Approximately 16 folders found. Would you like to search for a more specific term?

Which folder would you like to start with?

Folder Opened: MedScan (Pre-Surgery)

Name: Phoenix Wilson-Parker

Height: 5’8

Weight: 125 LBS

Blood Type: Unknown

DNA: Confirmed match to PARKER, PETER and WILSON, WADE

Program: SCARLET SPIDER

Candidate Position: CONFIRMED

Surgical procedures needed:

BONE REINFORCEMENTS: (APPROX. 7-8 PROCEDURES) 

DNA FUSION: (APPROX. 4-5 PROCEDURES)

STINGER IMPLANTS: (APPROX. 2-3 PROCEDURES)

SENSORY EXPANSION: (APPROX. 3-4 NON-INVASIVE)

RECALIBRATION: (APPROX 20-30 NON-INVASIVE)

Combat Mentor: Sergeant James Barnes (WINTER SOLDIER PROGRAM CANDIDATE)

NOTES:

Healing factor seems to be peaked, due to a combination of the parent’s DNA.

ADHD, Dyslexic, OCD, ANXIETY, 

You have reached the end of the folder. Proceed?

I slammed the computer shut, throwing it on the chair I was sitting on. Is this why he is so messed up, why he snapped? Peter was murdered so that they could have his kid. But why? Everything about him fell into place. His action, the way he was afraid of us for a year after moving in. There was something that seemed so right about our friendship though. The feeling that we were meant to be friends keeps pulling at me like I’m the one to help him through this. My mind was racing trying to take in this information.

Today was special though. Today Phoenix turns 18 and he would still be locked in confinement. I have lived 7 years of my life trying to figure out who he really was and now I know. All his suffering is because of HYDRA. They took him from a young age and tortured him for years. All the pain he holds is not his own, but the monster they created. I muse over this as I take the elevator to the floor that holds Phoenix’s chamber. He’s sitting on the floor, hunched possessively over something. I think it’s a book of some sort.

“I remembered,” Phoenix says it without turning around. I still get the creeps from the fact he can just tell who’s around him. “My name.”

“That’s… good.” I say, sitting down outside the chamber. “What was it?”

“Phoenix Wilson-Parker.” He flips another page in the book. “Names and faces have been kinda piecing themselves together. Other things, too. Wanda thinks it’s a good thing but Tony doesn’t. It triggers…” He shrugs, still flipping through the book. “And I remembered you.”

“You… remembered me, from when?” I look at him as I question what he was talking about. I can’t think of any time that I have known him except these 7 years.

“We were kids growing up here. My parents were really good friends with Tony.” Phoenix closes the book, turning to look at me for the first time. “Tony wiped all your memories of me so you wouldn’t be in any danger. But we knew each other. We were friends.” I try to understand what he’s saying. My Dad wiped all memory I had of my best friend? Is this why I feel like I have to help him? And… why wouldn’t Dad have told me? I lean back, trying to recall anything, but I can’t. I pull out my tablet and then pause.

“JARVIS, are there any videos of me and Phoenix?” I ask, and Jarvis uploads several files to my tablet. I share my tablet screen to the screen in Phoenix’s chamber, clicking the first file. Dad is holding a bundle, which I realize is me. Phoenix is trying to look in the bundle, Peter holding him up as he does.

“Wha’s it do?” Phoenix looks at Dad, and Dad laughs.

“It exists,” Dad says, and I laugh. Despite how odd this situation is, and how strange it is to see these things I don’t remember, it’s such a Tony Stark answer. Phoenix seems entranced by the baby me, and Peter picks him up, Phoenix putting his head on Peter’s shoulder.

“Can I have it?” Phoenix asks, and Peter and Tony both start laughing. I can hear another voice, and I think it’s Wade. He says something about not needing any more kids. I hardly recognize this younger Phoenix, without all the scars. For a moment, I wonder what life would have been like if Peter and Wade weren't killed. Would Phoenix still be here, or would he have gone to college somewhere? Dad had told me that Phoenix is extremely smart. Would he have gone to school and been popular, with friends and a girlfriend? Would he have been friends with me as he got older, or… I shake my head, not wanting to think that.

Each day I come back to see how he's doing and bring him something new. Yesterday it was a picture of his parents that I found, and today it was just another book from his room. “How are you feeling today?” I wondered while walking into his “chamber” room. When I looked up I saw him just sitting there on the floor. He looked sad, he seemed to be distant or thinking about something.

“Phoenix, look at me. I promise I will find a way to get you out and fixed for good”. He looked at me in the eyes and just whispered a small thank you. Running to my room I pull out my phone and try to contact Shuri. All those years ago she helped James and I need to see if she can help again.


	9. Forbiden Arguments

“Hello, Shuri. Could you help me with something?” Her tone when I explained what I needed was quite serious. She explained that it would a bit to set up but she could do it. Now I just have to tell Phoenix, and Dad.

Phoenix,  
I have found a way to help you if you want. You have the freedom to leave if you ask. 

I take the note I had written and taped it on the glass so he can read it. I see him acknowledge the note and nod. Before leaving I tell Dad I’m going out the store for a treat and ask My Wolf to come with. My Wolf offers to drive, so I sit back with Phoenix, who seems now, more than ever, on edge. He looks relieved to see Shuri, though. Shuri, in turn, looks pleased to see him. Phoenix still seems nervous around the ice, but I don’t question it.

I follow cautiously as Shuri leads us further into the lab. I watch as my closest friend gets strapped down to a table and Shuri grabs all the equipment needed. Phoenix seems nervous, tapping his fingers on the table. I turn to My Wolf and notice that he seems unusually jittery like he knows that something will happen. I watch as the machines start taking his readings, he seems so unnerved as he starts to twitch more and more.

“Phoenix, you can relax. This shouldn’t hurt you in any way,” Shuri smiles, trying her best to calm him. His eyes slowly close as he takes a few small breaths to calm himself. Shuri is able to try and sort through the jumbled mess in his mind. I noticed that she would pull up a screen showing all the programming they put in his head. Everything was mushed together, his childhood was crowded and almost impossible to weave out of his training. Shuri almost looks frustrated, drumming her fingers on the table. It seemed that she tried to pull the wrong thing, causing Phoenix to snap. He struggles against the restraints until finally, he breaks free.

“You, you did this to me!” He turns to My Wolf shouting. I watched as the scene unfolded.

“Shit,” Bucky muttered. “Come on Phoenix, you're going to need to stop this you can seriously hurt someone. Manya, get to a safe place until Tony knows what's going on.” My Wolf looks guilty, holding his hands out pleadingly towards Phoenix. “Phoenix, I know you hate me for what I did to you. About your parents, your graduation. Believe me, I regret every single day what I had to do that to you, especially now that you’ve reminded me of every bad thing I've ever done in my life, every person I've ever hurt.”

"You don't just get to apologize. Why couldn't you have left me alone? Why did you have to follow me?"

“Follow you? I'm here because I'm trying to help you! I know what you're going- through I went through the exact same thing. So you don't get to say why are you following me, why couldn't I have left you alone! I went to the exact same thing you did for decades, and how long do you think it took for me to get help?” 

“If you wanted to help, you would've left me alone. Yeah, you went through decades, sure. But me? You took everything from me.” Phoenix’s expression is one I’ve never associated with him- pure hate. His fingers twitch, and I realize his body is trying to unsheathe the stingers. 

“Yes, I may have taken everything from you, but I'm trying to give everything back to you. okay? I understand how you feel to not know who you are to be afraid of yourself. So why don't you understand where I'm coming from for once?” 

“What are you going to give back? My future? My childhood? My mind? My family?” Phoenix ticks each item off on his fingers. 

“You have a family, even if they aren't your real family. We are your family. Your future that was never taken from you, you just chose to ignore it. And your mind that's what we're doing right now. We're trying to help you, okay?” My Wolf looked hurt as he tried to explain what we are. We love him, even if he can't see it.

“My future was to kill, and you did that. You... You have no clue what it's like to watch your friends grow up while you can't.” I could see the anger and pain building up in his eyes as My Wolf looked solemnly at the ground.

“Yes I know, at least your friends don't fear you. My mission was to kill my one and only friend that was apparently still alive and I didn't even know you how much that hurt me? I'm trying to give you a future that isn't to kill people, okay? I am trying my hardest to help.”

“Oh? Then does Manya know what you made me do, huh?” Phoenix practically spits the words at Bucky, and if possible, My Wolf looked more guilty. 

“No... But I do know that she does not hate you for anything. She does not fear you for hurting her. If you want to tell her and scare her of one of her only friends tell her will that make you happy?”  
“No. But she'll know the truth at least. You don't get to help me. Your 'help' in that... Place was never help.”

"You know what? I'm at least trying to help now. If you hate everything about me then fine. Just keep your mind in the right place so you don't hurt those who you care about and care for you."  
"Yeah? And what happened to the people you care about? If you're so good now, Mister Truthful, tell Manya what you made me do to my father."

"If I could have saved you and your father, I would have. I know I made major mistakes in my life but I can't change anything. You can still make a future of your own if, and only if you let us help you."  
"I don't want your help. You made me hurt my family, and you hurt me."

"You know what, kid. That's enough for today.” Bucky grabs a needle from Shuri, stabbing Phoenix in the neck and catching him as he falls. Shuri helps him strap Phoenix back down, backing away when she’s done. “I’m sorry,” Bucky mutters, looking down at Phoenix. “I hope one day you can believe me.”


	10. Unstable Memories

After the incident, Dad had pulled me aside. He’d told me my intentions were good, but I should’ve asked his permission. He’d given me a hug- a sad hug- but a hug nonetheless. I hadn’t seen Phoenix since the incident in Wakanda, and Steve had told me SHIELD had transported Phoenix back to the tower and had told Dad that they were going to monitor him for some time to make sure he was stable. Wanda wasn’t talking anymore, only briefly to Stephan, who seemed to be spending a lot of time with Phoenix. 

In the elevator to Phoenix’s chamber room, JARVIS tells me Stephen is working with Phoenix and it might be better if I don’t interrupt. I ignore his warning, stepping out onto the floor. Phoenix sits on the floor, eyes closed, while Stephen does something with his magic. Phoenix occasionally twitches, fists clenching. Stephen pauses, looking over at me. 

“Manya.” He nods. “Be quiet, and be careful”. I took his advice and sat to the side observing. I open my phone to the memo I have been keeping a list of potential parents for me, at least moms. I did a DNA test to try and find her. The only thing I know is that I am Russian and that her name is Laura. From the letter, she said she is in a small town in Russia. So for 2 years, I have looked at all government records of anyone named Laura in Russia. So far I have found a total of 852 women with that name.

My inside man, Orion has been helping me hack. He's kinda like me. I met him through a secret program SHIELD set up for me to make friends with kids with powers. Glancing up from my phone I notice that Stephen had stepped out of the room. Now's my chance. “Hey, Phoenix. When we were in Wakanda I noticed that you had multiple scars across your body. What is that from?” I question.  
I kinda walk/shuffle over. He didn't seem to actually notice that I said anything, almost like he’s hypnotized and or ignoring everything around him. I place a soft hand on his scar. Everything becomes blurred as moments of our lives fly past. It finally stops in a room with a table. The room smells like bleach and anesthetics mixed into one. Phoenix stands next to me, stingers unsheathed, and he looks terrified. 

A door opens and the sound of voices echoes through the room. Two men enter, armed heavily, holding the door open for two doctors who escort Phoenix in between them. Two more men follow, helping strap this other Phoenix down. Two men remain to flank the door as the doctors and the other men leave. Phoenix doesn’t struggle, but he lays there, his face a mixture of anxiety and fear. When the door slams open, the two guards are back, this time with a different doctor and My Wolf, who looks so different from the man I know. He’s colder, more calculating, and angrier. Phoenix’s expression becomes blank and devoid of emotion, like some sort of perfectly programmed android. 

“Маленький паук, you’ve advanced well.” My Wolf’s voice makes me wince because it’s so different from the voice I’m used to hearing. “Much better, in fact, than we thought.” Bucky pauses as the doctor lays out a set of various blades. My stomach twists. I feel as though I know where it is going, but I don’t want it too. 

“What else do you want from me?” Phoenix asks, looking over at Bucky, his face showing some emotion for the first time since My Wolf entered the room. My Wolf picks up a knife just under a foot long and inspects it. 

“Unfortunately, we cannot be sure you have progressed as you have seemed until we begin the mandatory assessments.” My wolf flips the blade so he holds the hilt tightly in his metal hand, running his human thumb along the blade and taking in the blood that drips off the blade. “Your first assessment is simple: the test of instinctual survival. The task is simple. Survive for an hour, and advance to the next test.”

“What test? What am I supposed to survive? What are you-” I scream as My Wolf stabs the knife into Phoenix’s chest, hilt-deep, directly below his heart. Phoenix doesn’t make a noise, but lays there, looking stunned. He coughs, spitting up blood. 

“You would do much better to talk less, Маленький паук.” My Wolf says, standing as everything blurs around me. “And listen more.” Everything goes blurry again, and I’m standing in front of Phoenix, who shoves me towards the door. “You should never have seen that,” he muttered.

I never thought I would see this part of his life. the way James harmed him was just brutal. I never even knew I could do that. Why did I even want to see, to know his pain? I look at my life realizing I know nothing about the people I love. What has Steve done, or dad, Wanda? Everything I saw is changing. The way I thought of life was changing. Who else could I see the memories from? What else could I learn?   
My heart was pounding; my mind was racing. Everything was spinning then nothing. Everything just stopped and I realized I need to figure out who I am. Who is my real family and why am I like this? My life has been a lie, I did even remember life before the age of 4. The only person I could get answers from was dad but he would never tell me. I remember James showing me his book of memory collection he made when he escape HYDRA so maybe I could do that.

When I was younger I would draw pictures of people that I knew in my dreams. In my dreams, they would scream out in pain. I saw Peter’s death before it happened, I watched as this man was being tortured by an unknown figure for months of my life. Who were these people, why did I have a connection with them and what was their purpose? And I have to find that out.


	11. Family Secrets

“James? дорогой, it's time to go.” The woman stood looking at him with slight worry. Her tone was soothing but harsh. He slowly awoke squinting due to the light. He smiles slightly as he shifted to stand. Grabbing his shirt, James watched as the woman packed her bag. She smiled at him making sure all the doors were locked and windows closed. 

“Владельцы должны быть дома в ближайшее время. Поехали.” They leave, making sure the door was closed and locked, leaving no trace. The couple jogged over to their stolen vehicle. Getting in, the woman points to a small town 60 miles away.

Damn it. I realized I am nowhere close to finding out who she is. I've been dreaming about her for 2 years now. Whenever I talk to James about it, he dismisses the topic and avoids all questions. I know he is hiding the truth and just wants to protect me, but at what cost? Sitting up I look at the clock, only 8 am. I rolled out of bed and let my eyes adjust before heading to the main room.

I walked out to find everyone in their normal spots. Phoenix by the window, Tony and Stephen probably talking about Phoenix, and Wanda and Vision making breakfast. Everything the same as it has been and nothing changing. I join Phoenix by the window but we don't talk. We just sit there looking out at lower Manhattan. I find James sitting at the table slowly munching on his cereal.

“Hello, Wolf.” The way he looked at me hurt. He doesn't know what I know. He doesn't know that I know his past. “What was your life like before everything?” I see him start to think of his life and I place my hand on his shoulder. All I can see is his pain and torture. Then out of all the darkness, I see a red light. I see James but he was happy. Two arms, pre-war, just him and Steve. Everything then goes white and all I hear is a ballet. The beautiful symphonic sounds of the orchestra and the graceful movements of girls on stage. He seems focused on a woman, the only woman, with red hair. She's beautiful, I think she is the woman in my dreams that is with James. She moves with such grace. Everything moves to the rooms I saw in my first dream, the woman and James are just lying there when she curls up next to him. 

The searing pain in my head finally stops as I scream out in pain. Collapsing to the ground I realized who the woman was, my mother. “James? Was that who I think it was? Please tell me, is that my mother? Tell me!” I yelled at him, tears pricking at my eyes. Everyone stopped in there place. “Tell me! My mother, the red-haired ballerina! Is it true!” Phoenix grabs my arm and brings his face by my ear. His breath felt unnerving as he. whispers in my ear. “Manya, you need to calm down. This won't make anything better, you yelling at him”. I feel his head give a slight nod toward James. I pull away from him and look at James. Rage is building but only for a second before he snaps. “Natalia Romanova! How dare you speak to me like that!” 

My face is blank. James realizes what he said and looked around for help. “Manya, I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry," He wiped a hand across his face. "Yes, that woman is your mother and that was her name”. I can't believe he is saying this. Shaking my head I left the warm tears flow. “No, no, no, no… God, no. Why didn't you tell me? I've been looking for two God damned years! Has everyone known this! What else are you hiding?” Dad looks at me with so much remorse it hurts. 

“Dad? Are you keeping secrets from me? What else is there?” I turn from him not wanting an answer, burying my face into Phoenix's chest. I couldn't stand to look at anyone knowing that he hid the truth for years. James was even in love with her and never said a thing. Dad, Tony, placed a hand on my shoulder. “If you want to see your early years, go to the briefing room, Phoenix can come too”.

After a few moments of waiting, Tony came back with a small box of discs. The box was labeled ‘Manya's Early Years’, just knowing that there was a film of me then, crushed my heart. “Before we start I want to apologies for what I did. On your 4th birthday, we decided it best to wipe your memory of anything and everything. That also meant you would forget your only friends, Eddie, who we meet through Peter, and Phoenix”. I never even looked in his direction but I knew he was hurting. “You also forgot about Wade, Phoenix's other dad. And when we wiped you Phoenix was already gone and wiped.”

Tony put the first disc in and I saw a young girl with fiery red hair chasing around a man, apparently a younger Tony. I must have been 2 at the time. Steve walked in with Sam and I ran up giggling. “Hewwo Uncle Steve. I missed ‘oo.” My tiny self said. He laughed slightly rubbing my hair before the video cut to Halloween that year where it appears a young Phoenix dressed as Spidey and I had a tiny Mark 7 Iron suit. He was about 5 or 6 in this. God, how time had changed us. At this point, we have as much trauma as the rest at the age of 15. The video cut to my first real power moment. Phoenix's 6th birthday, I opened a portal to grab a second slice of cake. Dad slips me a 5 when I hand it over.

God, why did he take this from me? He took what makes me, me away and any clues of my past with it. Everything I ever dreamt or drew was real and everyone dismissed my claim and would say I lied. I took the box up to my room to watch for the next few hours. What made me the way I am?

Everything that happened and the only person I can trust is Phoenix. He is the only one who knows what it is like to find out who your parents are too late. To have your innocence ripped from you at a young age. There’s a final disc left. And I will figure out who I am and what my story is.


End file.
